On Being A Loss Soul In Tech As a Multi-Passionate nonsense

Am writing this to remind me of how my journey had been and to you reading this that not every person in tech is going to change the world. The main thing is for you to focus on the responsibility you want to hold and look for ways to define it into categories.

by 

Hi Friend, after years of keeping it to myself and trying to overcome my instability in tech I decided to talk a little about my tech journey and where I am currently.

The thing is I have been in the tech industry without making money, contributing to the industry or even helping my parents financially, yes like every other being I hated feeling that way, I keep starting so many projects yet never seem to finish or show them to the world, not cause of imposter syndrome but cause I end up hating myself along the way; this comes from the fact that I have not been able to choose a particular job title to focus on, I have ventured into quite a several fields in tech from game development, java developer, networking, front end developer to now being a cyber security data science student all this was one I learn on my one, even been a student currently is not teaching me more than what I have learned previously.

Along the line, I realized that one of the major factors is cause am not driven by money but by my curiosity yet curiosity would not keep food on the table or help my parent retire early, but yet am passionate about so many different things in tech that I pick up a pen and keep writing until I was satisfied with what I got, mind you am still not; I found myself still writing of what I want to become or what is the job title I want to hold.

As I have dabbled into so many things, I keep asking myself this

Would I be better if I just focused on one thing? What happens if I fail at all, failing at one thing is much more bearable than multiple failures.

Writing and answering some questions, as I go make me realize something yet before that I want you to read a short story oh how I got into tech,

My Journey
I was that one kid in the class who had no idea of what she want to become, i was alway that kid who never raise her hand up during career week or when a lecturer ask if you want to become this or this, i was that one kid who went along with her parent whenever someone ask what i would become in the future and they reply with her answer Neurosurgeon thinking back i kind of understand when my parent are coming from as they i love reading anf i have a passion for brain do you know i actually thougth i would be a vampire with the way i was obsessed with the documentry about brain, i know sound stupid yet it was fun but there was a catch i hate hospital do not know why but i just do.
In my secoundary school, i found my love for geometric building; building with sharp edge, building with concert, building with pointed edges (i still do) i thought i would become an architecture and which was what i apply for thank lord it fall thorugh as both school decide it lab science and medicine i would read imagin the nonsense, now the reason i said thank lord it cause, have you seen the hosue build in nigeria, yeah they are fancy and expensive but there is nothing unique about them, maybe that what i would have end up learning like where are my sharp edge (I have a goal to build a house that sharp, concert and glass).
As a girl and the first born of my parent, my dad was so determined to make sure i did not stay home for another one year cause of the nonsense nigeria academic admission system are, so he make so call and a friend of ours recommend private university even though we lack the fund at that time, my parent were able to pay for that and i start my bachelor science in computer science as they have no architecture with a promise by my dad that i would write jamb the next year for architecture, well story short i never seem to make it to the cut off mark; as a child you can imagine i was hurt piss off and never gave computer science much opportunity until my 300 level second semester, that i decided to put in my best rather than waiting for a course admission that never seem forthcoming, from then on, i study gracefully to second class, after graduating came the option of what i want to do with this, paying for class, getting internship and learning on my all but never found my calling until i came across cyber security.
I have been in the industry for 3 years now but either am less qualified or never seem to get that industry oppurtunity that other had, ther are time i blame myself for not been social enough but often time i remind myself that i did gave it my best during the first year, just never got the break in.
2019, my dad recommend i go back to school, too bad he can not afford out of nigeria and i never got a fully funded schlorship but half even at that it was not enough and the GRE i wrote never reach the school cut off mark with that i start my second degree in cyber security, yet i found myself hating going back to school as their curriculum was totally different form what i wanted and their mode of teaching, scratch that i have taught myself much better before starting school.

As I never fully connect to others and I also have difficulties in growing relationships with others either by asking for their help or whatnot, it always seems like being alone and that might be true as more successful people are those who thrive from specialising.

My years of writing in my journal had made me realize that it cause am more focused on company culture and job responsibility more than the job title itself, I created a page on my notion that list out everything that I have learned and how good I am in that skill, doing this also made me realized in two sentences what I hope to achieve in the tech industry and that not everyone would end up saving the world.

Currently, I decided to help creators and cyber security firms in building actionable content, simplifying their content as a freelancer while learning how to use artificial intelligence to combat crime actors, no idea if that job title exists in Nigeria as I could not find them in Nigeria but Google called them cyber security artificial intelligence specialist, I kid you not, honestly someone needs to come and slap my back like what the hell but that is not stopping me as I create a roadmap and start learning all about artificial intelligence, for the content strategist/writing I decided to freelance on that and recently am currently working on editorial calendars for a brand even though the pay was very small yet it a step forward in getting that recommendation on my LinkedIn (that which I promise myself to be better at).

Am writing this to remind me of how my journey had been and to you reading this that not every person in tech is going to change the world. The main thing is for you to focus on the responsibility you want to hold and look for ways to define it into categories.


Let Chat

  • What your definition of sucess?
  • The career you are in, was in accindental or intentional?
  • Are you more focus on the job title or job responsibility?

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